這幾年，我與張華兄(Howard)通信討論的一些筆記。
十幾年前，我們聽說梁祥美要譯《勸服》時，因為不熟識，當時沒給她幫忙。現在出書近十年了，我打算補習。
Jane Austen 的英文，很不容易翻譯，林以亮先生60年代就比較過《傲慢與偏見》數個版本，都很不滿意。指
這篇只是我們這兩天的通信之筆記，給自己參考。
Persuasion by Jane Austen
http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/105/pg105.txt
《勸服》 梁祥美譯，新潮文庫本(台北:志文)， 2007
《勸導》裘因譯，上海：譯文版，2008
《勸導》孫致禮、唐慧心譯，南京:譯林，1996
hc：關於書名，台灣的或中國的，哪個比較恰當。我用persuaded 和 persuasion 查全書，可得約40處使用，從上下文可了解作者的用意。
日文板約5種，書名兩：『説きふせられて』、『説得』 :說服（UK：勸說)
"Perhaps the best bit of poetry in Persuasion is Captain Wentworth's wonderful proposal letter at the very end! "
http://old-fashionedcharm.blogspot.tw/2011/08/annes-favorite-poems.html
Persuasion (1995)
影片約在第97分鐘
Mrs Musgrove had little arrangements of her own at her own table; to their protection she must trust, and sinking into the chair which he had occupied, succeeding to the very
spot where he had leaned and written, her eyes devoured the following words:
"I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means
as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half
hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are
gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your
own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare
not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an
earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been,
weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have
brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not
seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not
waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think
you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant
hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can
distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others.
Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do
believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe
it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in F. W.
"I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow
your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to
decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never."
此信或許可作為翻譯比較之基準
第6章
Charles Musgrove was civil and agreeable; in sense and temper he was
undoubtedly superior to his wife, but not of powers, or conversation,
or grace, to make the past, as they were connected together, at all a
dangerous contemplation; though, at the same time, Anne could believe,
with Lady Russell, that a more equal match might have greatly improved
him; and that a woman of real understanding might have given more
consequence to his character, and more usefulness, rationality, and
elegance to his habits and pursuits. As it was, he did nothing with
much zeal, but sport; and his time was otherwise trifled away, without
benefit from books or anything else.
━━ n. 熟視［考］; 沈思, 瞑(めい)想, 黙想; 予期, 期待; 意図.
44 除了運動，他對其他一切都缺乏熱情。
~~~~~
In the centre of some of the best preserves in the kingdom, surrounded by three great proprietors, each more careful and jealous than the other; and to two of the three at least, Charles Hayter might get a special recommendation. Not that he will value it as he ought," he observed, "
Charles is too cool about sporting. That's the worst of him."
238 查爾斯對狩獵根本不感興趣，這是他最大的缺點。
~~~~~
在 Chater 11 末，有段：
While Captains Wentworth and Harville led the talk on one side of the room, and by recurring to former days, supplied anecdotes in abundance to occupy and entertain the others, it fell to Anne's lot to be placed rather apart with Captain Benwick; and a very good impulse of her nature obliged her to begin an acquaintance with him. He was shy, and disposed to abstraction; but the engaging mildness of her countenance,and gentleness of her manners, soon had their effect; and Anne was well repaid the first trouble of exertion. He was evidently a young man of considerable taste in reading, though principally in poetry; and besides the persuasion of having given him at least an evening's indulgence in the discussion of subjects, which his usual companions
had probably no concern in, she had the hope of being of real use to him in some suggestions as to the duty and benefit of struggling
against affliction, which had naturally grown out of their
conversation. For, though shy, he did not seem reserved; it had rather the appearance of feelings glad to burst their usual restraints; and having talked of poetry, the richness of the present age, and gone through a brief comparison of opinion as to the first-rate poets, trying to ascertain whether Marmion or The Lady of the Lake were to be preferred, and how ranked the Giaour and The Bride of Abydos; and moreover, how the Giaour was to be pronounced, he showed himself so intimately acquainted with all the tenderest songs of the one poet, and all the impassioned descriptions of hopeless agony of the other; he repeated, with such tremulous feeling, the various lines which imaged a broken heart, or a mind destroyed by wretchedness, and looked so entirely as if he meant to be understood, that she ventured to hope he did not always read only poetry, and to say, that she thought it was the misfortune of poetry to be seldom safely enjoyed by those who enjoyed it completely; and that the strong feelings which alone could estimate it truly were the very feelings which ought to taste it but sparingly.
新潮文庫本直譯而不加注
上海譯文版個詩章/篇加註，更直接將one poet 寫成司克特、the other 寫成拜倫。
我用的Gutenberg 板採用第1章到第24章方式 (新潮文庫本同)，不過在第12張加註 end of volume one；上海譯文版分上下卷，各12章。
Giaour ，兩本都翻譯為 《異教徒》，其實，此處的"異教徒"，指的是"基督教徒"，特用土耳其/波斯語的"異教徒"。
~~~~~
前面有一小段tenderness不能忽略。提供別人的譯法
Anne was tenderness itself, and she had the full worth of it in Captain Wentwroth’s affection. His profession was all that could ever make her friends wish that tenderness less; the dread of a future war all that could dim her sunshine. She gloried in being a sailor’s wife, but she must pay the tax of quick alarm for belonging to that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance.
译本1 孙致礼、唐慧心 译林出版社 1996年12月 安妮温情脉脉，完全赢得了温特沃思上校的一片钟情。他的职业是安妮的朋友们所唯一担忧的，唯恐将来打起仗来会给她的欢乐投上阴影，因而希望她少几分温柔。她为做一个水兵的妻子而感到自豪；不过，隶属于这样的职业，她又必须付出一定的代价，战事一起，便要担惊受怕。其实，那些人如果办得到的话，他们在家庭方面的美德要比为国效忠来得更卓著。
hc：謝謝張華兄。這1996年的，比我手頭上的兩本約2006的，並不差。
這段也可知道Austen的英文之神髓，不好用中文表達。
"担惊受怕" 不知道是好是壞？
"其实，那些人如果办得到的话，他们在家庭方面的美德要比为国效忠来得更卓著。"這究竟是指profession還是人？
"家庭方面的美德"不知所云。
Howard：
Domestic Virtues
the role of being a mother, entrusted with the nurturing of the young, seemed more central to the family than it had in the past. And the role as wife grew more important as well. Women learned to place a high value on keeping a clean, comfortable, and well-appointed home, on entertaining, and on dressing elegantly and stylishly
最後一句話耐人尋味
More Distinguished in His Domestic Virtues: Captain Wentworth Comes Home
By Casal, Elvira
Article excerpt
THE FINAL LINE OF Persuasion identifies the navy as "that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance" (252). This description is provocative. What exactly is Austen saying? A surface reading would be that sailors make good domestic men. A biographically informed reading might be that Austen was intending a loving compliment to her two sailor brothers. In addition, by referring to Anne as "belonging" to the naval "profession," the passage implies that marriage to a sailor is a profession in itself. Going a little deeper, the juxtaposition of "domestic virtues" against "national importance" invites the reader to reflect on the relationship between the "domestic" and the "national." (1)
This relationship is a complex and often tense one because it hinges on the paradox that to promote domestic interests--to provide for their families--sailors must distance themselves from their homes for long periods of time. Thus any assertion about the "domestic virtues" of sailors implicitly demands an examination of the ways in which life at sea both promotes and inhibits the development of domestic relationships. Furthermore, such an examination must take into account not only the differences between civilian and naval experience but between the lives of men and women. It is a large topic.
Indeed, examining all the questions raised by the conclusion of Persuasion could fill several volumes--or take several conferences--so I will content myself here with addressing some of the ways in which the tension between the "domestic" and the "national," between the world of female feeling and male action, manifests itself in the reintegration of Captain Wentworth into civilian society. In particular, I want to look into the role that Wentworth's lack of civilian experience plays in his initial emotional distancing from Anne. As I read Persuasion, the eight-year separation between Anne and Wentworth is caused as much by Wentworth's own unrealistic expectations as by Anne's having listened to Lady Russell's advice. Although the novel ends with praise for sailors' "domestic virtues," the text of the novel initially calls into question Wentworth's readiness to participate in a domestic relationship.
Because Wentworth usually appears to the reader through Anne's eyes, and because so much of the novel is dominated by Anne's regret for the decision that separated her from Wentworth, it is easy to overlook the ways in which Wentworth's limited understanding of women, caused in part by lack of domestic experience, is responsible for much of the separation. Yet a central strand in the novel is the account of Wentworth's growth as a person, as he comes not only to recognize Anne's real value, but, by extension, to revise his views about women in general. Although he consistently shows the ability to take care of other people that marks him as a good domestic man--it is Wentworth, for example, who took the news of Fanny Harville's death to Benwick and "never left the poor fellow for a week" (108)--Wentworth has difficulty seeing women as equals. Both his condemnation of Anne's "feebleness of character" (66) and his admiration for what he sees in Louisa as "decision and firmness" (88) are grounded in a patronizing view of women which doesn't take into account how women's lives require a different sort of strength than men's lives.
The way in which men's and women's lives require different kinds of strengths is articulated explicitly in the famous scene where Anne explains to Captain Harville that women are more constant in love than men because women "'live at home, quiet, confined'" (232). By basing her claim for greater constancy among women on the restricted circumstances of their lives, Anne is pointing to the connection between external conditions and the development of romantic relationships. Kept "'at home, quiet, confined,'" women like Anne must wait for men who go out into the world where "'continual occupation and change'" may transform them--or at least keep them from reflection about their feelings. …
