2008年4月28日 星期一

"The Story of the Bad Little Boy That Led a Charmed Life."

看過這篇的一種"英漢對照"版本 (人民文學版 無圖片)
只一注: Sunday school,
我想起碼應該說明James 暱稱 Jim的打趣說法
一般讀者比較難了解相關的19世紀中期美國鄉鎮之新教文化氛圍



MARK TWAIN'S BAD BOY
(or TWAIN'S TEXT ONLY)

PAGE: SKETCHES, NEW AND OLD

who teach them to say, "Now, I lay me down," etc., and sing them to sleep with sweet, plaintive voices, and then kiss them good-night, and kneel down by the bedside and weep. But it was different with this fellow. He was named Jim, and there wasn't anything the matter with his mother -- no consumption, nor anything of that kind. She was rather stout than otherwise, and she was not pious; moreover, she was not anxious on Jim's account. She said if he were to break his neck it wouldn't be much loss. She always spanked Jim to sleep, and she never kissed him good-night; on the contrary, she boxed his ears when she was ready to leave him.

INPAGE ILLUSTRATION

Once this little bad boy stole the key of the pantry, and slipped in there and helped himself to some jam, and filled up the vessel with tar so that his mother would never know the difference; but all at once a terrible feeling didn't come over him, and something didn't seem to whisper to him, "Is it right to disobey my mother? Isn't in sinful to do this? Where do bad little boys go who gobble up their good kind mother's jam?" and then he didn't kneel down all alone and promise never to be wicked any more, and rise up with a light, happy heart, and go and tell his mother all about it and beg her forgiveness, and be blessed by her with tears of pride and thankfulness in her eyes. No; that is the way with all other bad boys in the books; but it happened otherwise with this Jim, strangely enough. He ate that jam, and said it was bully, in his sinful, vulgar way; and he put in the tar, and said that was bully also, and laughed, and observed "that the old woman would get up and snort" when she found it out; and when she did find it out, he denied knowing anything about it, and she whipped him severely, and he did the crying himself. Everything about this boy was curious -- everything turned out differently with him from the way it does to the bad Jameses in the books.

Once he climbed up in Farmer Acorn's apple-tree to steal apples, and the limb didn't break, and he didn't fall and break his arm, and get torn by the farmer's great dog, and then languish on a sick bed for weeks, and repent and become good. Oh! no; he stole as many apples as he wanted and came down all right; and he was all ready for the dog too, and knocked him endways with a brick when he came to tear him. It was very strange -- nothing like it ever happened in those mild little books with marbled backs, and with pictures in them of men with swallow-tailed coats and bell-crowned hats, and pantaloons that are short in the legs, and women with the waists of their dresses under their arms, and no hoops on. Nothing like it in any of the Sunday-school books.

Once he stole the teacher's pen-knife, and, when he was afraid it would be found out and he would get whipped, he slipped it into George Wilson's cap -- poor Widow Wilson's son, the moral boy, the good little boy of the village, who always obeyed his mother, and never told an untruth, and was fond of his lessons, and infatuated with Sunday-school. And when the knife dropped from the cap, and poor George hung his head and blushed, as if in conscious guilt, and the grieved teacher charged the theft upon him, and was just in the very act of bringing the switch down upon his trembling shoulders, a white-haired, improbable justice of the peace did not suddenly appear in their midst, and strike an attitude and say, "Spare this noble boy -- there stands the cowering culprit! I was passing the school-door at recess, and unseen myself, I saw the theft committed!" And then Jim didn't get whaled, and the venerable justice didn't read the tearful school a homily, and take George by the hand and say such a boy deserved to be exalted, and then tell him to come and make his home with him, and sweep out the office, and make fires, and run errands, and chop wood, and study law, and help his wife do household labors, and have all the balance of the time to play, and get forty cents a month, and be happy. No; it would have happened that way in the books, but it didn't happen that way to Jim. No meddling old clam of a justice dropped in to make trouble, and so the model boy George got thrashed, and Jim was glad of it. Because, you know, Jim hated moral boys. Jim said he was "down on them milksops." Such was the coarse language of this bad, neglected boy.

But the strangest thing that ever happened to Jim was the time he went boating on Sunday, and didn't get drowned, and that other time that he got caught out in the storm when he was fishing on Sunday, and didn't get struck by lightning. Why, you might look, and look, and look, all through the Sunday-school books from now till next Christmas, and you would never come across anything like this. Oh no; you would find that all the bad boys who go boating on Sunday invariably get drowned, and all the bad boys who get caught out in storms, when they are fishing on Sunday, infallibly get struck by lightning. Boats with bad boys in them are always upset on Sunday, and it always storms when bad boys go fishing on the Sabbath. How this Jim ever escaped is a mystery to me.

INPAGE ILLUSTRATION

This Jim bore a charmed life -- that must have been the way of it. Nothing could hurt him. He even gave the elephant in the menagerie a plug of tobacco, and the elephant didn't knock the top of his head off with his trunk. He browsed around the cupboard after essence of peppermint, and didn't make a mistake and drink aqua fortis. He stole his father's gun and went hunting on the Sabbath, and didn't shoot three or four of his fingers off. He struck his little sister on the temple with his fist when he was angry, and she didn't linger in pain through long summer days, and die with sweet words of forgiveness upon her lips that redoubled the anguish of his breaking heart. No; she got over it. He ran off and went to sea at last, and didn't come back and find himself sad and alone in the world, his loved ones sleeping in the quiet church-yard, and the vine-embowered home of his boyhood tumbled down and gone to decay. Ah! no; he came home as drunk as a piper, and got into the station-house the first thing.

And he grew up, and married, and raised a large family, and brained them all with an axe one night, and got wealthy by all manner of cheating and rascality; and now he is the infernalest wickedest scoundrel in his native village, and is universally respected, and belongs to the Legislature.

So you see there never was a bad James in the Sunday-school books that had such a streak of luck as this sinful Jim with the charmed life.

INPAGE ILLUSTRATION

[This story was originally published in the Californian magazine, in 1865, as "The Story of the Bad Little Boy That Led a Charmed Life." The text here is from MT's republication of it in Sketches New & Old (1875), and includes the illustrations drawn by True Williams for that volume.]

2008年4月27日 星期日

翻譯較難的是文化背景(2):The Decorative Art of Today by Le Corbusier 之Eugène Samuel Grasset

翻譯較難的是文化背景(2):The Decorative Art of Today by Le Corbusier Eugène Samuel Grasset

"Grasset was the geometrician and algebraist of flowers. With him we had to extend our admiration for all flowers as far as the secret of their structure, to love them so much that there was no alternative but to scatter them over all the works that we would like to have undertaken. Our childhood was illuminated by the miracles of nature. Our hours of study were spent hunched over a thousand flowers and insects. Trees, clouds and birds were the field of our research; we tried to understand their life-cure, and concluded that only nature was beautiful and that we could be no more than humble imitator of here forms and here wonderful materials."---
Le Corbusier , The Decorative Art of Today

這本1925的法文書很早就有日本翻譯本; 1965年修正版。如果MIT出版社說的沒錯,英文翻譯是1986/7年的事。 初淺的Eugène Samuel Grasset 介紹,還是對他們之間的關係了解有限。我是透過Le Corbusier's formative years by Brooks, H. Allen...的索引來了解他們的奇遇(Le Corbusier在電話步上看到他在學校讀書看過的Grasset的電話號碼,後者給他2小時之「先知般的教誨」:巴黎建築為頹壞之流無法落實19世紀新材料之承諾、頁364有裝飾圖案之分解的習作學習...

翻譯較難的是文化背景(1):Another Part of the Wood

翻譯較難的是文化背景(1):Another Part of the Wood by Kenneth Clark, p.85

今晨翻到這小段。送SU朋友參考。

The news of this success was greeted at Winchester rather as the baptism of the penguins was accepted in heaven, in Anatole France’s book. My housemaster was almost indignant, but consoled himself by thinking that Oxford was capable of anything.

Another Part of the Wood by Kenneth Clark, p.85

內容是傳主在Winchester”學校” (College)時,水準了了,可是竟然考上牛津大學的獎學金,讓許多師長驚訝…….。我覺得它的翻譯,可能是挑戰,因為這要了解英國著名私立住宿學校(如Winchester Eaton)制的許多事情,譬如說,文中的 housemaster,辭典上或說:housemaster 舎[寮]監.。然而,這牽涉到他們寄宿學校的組成。 譬如說 housemaster的無比權威地位,他們在社會中的地位,可能遠勝於著名大學中的院長。譬如說,近日過世的名人Jazz legend Lyttelton dies at 86,某訃聞這樣寫:He was the unlikeliest of jazzmen. Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he was schooled at Eton and commissioned in the Grenadier Guards. 他父親就是Eaton的一 housemaster。)

文中指的法朗士(這姓名的翻譯,中文界因歷史原因,只好將錯就錯)的書,乃是名著(企鵝島}( Penguin Island, L'Île des Pingouins)。約40年前 hc在台中讀過商務出版的大陸黎烈文翻譯本。不過,內容已不復記憶。借助現在網路資訊,我們可以了解(企鵝島}因為送諸企鵝上天國的是近視眼,經常出錯:Morals, customs and laws are satirised within the context of the fictional land of Penguinia, where the animals were baptised erroneously by the myopic Abbot Maël.

現在比較難理解的剩下My housemaster was almost indignant, but consoled himself by thinking that Oxford was capable of anything.

Samson Agonistes 力士"或"鬥士"及一小段

Samson Agonistes

鬥士參孫》是英國文學中最出色的希臘式古典悲劇。具有超人勇力的參孫遭妻子出賣失去了神力,且雙目失明,身陷囹圄,但他仍力抗強暴,終與敵人同歸於盡。 .

詩名agonistes或譯為"力士"或"鬥士 /闘士"
我比較喜歡前者:



1721行起

Nothing is here for tears, nothing to wail
Or knock the breast, no weakness, no contempt,
Dispraise, or blame, nothing but well and fair,
And what may quiet us in a death so noble.

我們不必流淚,或頓足捶胸,

不要過於悲傷,更不可妹蔑視,

貶抑,指摘他;他既然死的光榮,

就一切都好,我們再沒有遺憾了。(殷寶書譯)


這件事無可哭泣,無可悲傷,

也不必捶胸頓足,沒有缺點,不恥辱,

無可指責、非難,一切都美滿,

有什麼比死得高貴更令人瞑目。(金髮燊譯(鬥士參孫))--(音深),盛貌。」--翻譯者名字與Samson典故有點緣份....

2008年4月25日 星期五

光影交舞走走調

Breaking Ground: Adventures in Life and Architecture這本書
兩岸的書名都有點走調
台灣的更有點莫名其妙:

光影交舞石頭記──建築師李伯斯金回憶錄 (台北 2006)
破土:生活與建築的冒險 北京:清華大學出版社 :2008

Libeskind, Daniel Breaking Ground: An Immigrant's Journey from Poland to Ground Zero


break fresh/new ground



這樣的摘譯頗粗糙Study Says Near Extinction Threatened People 70,000 Years Ago

Study Says Near Extinction Threatened People 70,000 Years Ago

這樣的摘譯頗粗糙

Genographic Project顯然翻譯錯誤 Genographic 基因地理工程 --

22 Nov 2006 ... 来自DB2 Magazine 中文版。IBM 与美国国家地理学会共同寻求线索——我们是谁?我们来自何方?
探險家原文為explorer in residence駐史丹佛大學--
史詩原文為epic drama 重點是 drama 不是詩

2008年4月14日 星期一

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *No.67

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.67, 2008
415日 2008/1/28 創刊

桑塔耶納(George Santayana, 1863-1952

Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies (1922)

《英倫獨語》邱藝鴻, 蕭萍譯;北京:三聯,2003;台北:邊城出版社,2005此書已絕版。

Soliloquies in England(滞英独語録)-研究社小英文叢書163-」 ... ・「Later Soliloquies(随想録)-研究社小英文叢書184

書名之翻譯請參考soliloquy 特殊意思。

“G. Santayana 《英倫獨語》(Soliloquies in England and Later Soliloquies Santayana)邱藝鴻、蕭萍譯,北京:三聯, 2003;台北:邊城, 2005 --台灣將這本書全文移植,包括「代譯序」 --可悲!不知翻譯品質,起碼該序對於台灣出版 Satayana的情形完全不懂。”2005

2008年補:

翻閱過近半本書,可以說譯筆相當不錯。除了少數聖經*和哲學用語如 DATA DOXA等等 相當好

*(作者採用天主教的英文翻譯本若望福音 :Chapter 3 John 3:8,所以讓中譯者誤會了):8風隨意向那裡吹,你聽到風的響聲,卻不知道風從那裡來,往那裡去:凡由聖神而生的就是這樣。」

8The Spirit breatheth where he will; and thou hearest his voice, but thou knowest not whence he cometh, and whither he goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

2008年4月13日 星期日

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *No.66

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.66, 2008
414 2008/1/28 創刊

Jacques Barzun名著From Dawn to Decadence:1500 to the present, 500 years of Western Culture Life , Harper Collin 2000

有兩翻譯版本:

《從黎到衰頹》鄭明萱譯,台北:貓頭鷹,2004

《從黎明到衰落:西方文化生活五百年 1500至今》林華譯,北京:世界知識出版社,2002,注釋、索引從缺。

【此處兩本翻譯各有些問題,下次再談。貓頭鷹版之注解,年代打錯。】

現在我們要談第412頁的一小段

One Exchange in Boswell has perpetuated the myth about his prose: Johnson utters a terse epigram and immediately translates into Ramblerese.* It was play of mind and may well have been a joke on himself.

以及它的注解和相關的三本翻譯上的「議題」。原注:

*p.412

Ramblerese. Johnson said first:” It has not enough wit to keep it sweet,” and at once rephrased it:” It has not vitality enough to keep it from putrefaction.” The remark referred to the Duke of Buckingham’s The Rehearsal. The anecdote is in Boswell, May 30, 1784.

Jacques Barzun 1400頁中選出這段來評論是相當有趣而富「洞識力」的:主要是當時Johnson 75歲,身體很不舒適,隔年即過世。所以Barzun 說這些發言是他的「(自諷)警句」 epigram)。他唯一的問題是原文有些不同日期引錯,應該是1874619日(牛津大學 Life of Johnson 1312頁:He seems to take a pleasure in speaking his own style; for when he had carelessly missed it, he would repeat the thought translated into it. Talking of the Comedy of The Rehearsal, he said, ‘ It has not enough wit to keep it sweet.’ This was easy; he therefore caught himself , and pronounced a more rounded sentence; 'It has not vitality enough to preserve it from putrefaction', ..

「他似乎以他自己的風度與人談話為樂。當他不介意而沒有把話講到點子上時,他慣常再說一遍,以另一種方法表達本來的意圖。談到《預演》的喜劇性時,他說道,這劇沒有足以令人回味無窮的機智。這句話是隨便脫口而出的,因此他住嘴,而講出一句更不客氣的話:它沒有充足的氣韻和生動性,不能傳之久遠。」(约翰逊博士传) 王增澄,史美骅 合译 :上海三联书店, 2006pp.229-30

hc評:這劇沒有足以令人回味無窮的機智。它沒有充足的氣韻和生動性,不能傳之久遠。很好,其他翻譯問題多多:句子多冗長。《預演的喜劇》才對。”rounded sentence”指的「說法」(用字和發音更長而響亮、嘴型更圓等),不是「更不客氣的話」。

2008年4月11日 星期五

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating * No.65

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.65, 2008
412日 2008/1/28 創刊

The Life of Johnson 翻譯中還可能有的「史地」知識錯誤,譬如說3 James Boswell和Dr. Johnson 要去逛當時世界最”繁榮” (greatest)之街道兩旁商店,其中的Northumberland house,不知道為什麼翻譯成”….宮廷

現在這方面的參考資料很好,譬如說:

Wikipedia article "Northumberland House".

總而言之,要翻譯這本書,必須準備18世紀下葉的倫敦地圖和解說,才可能不會出洋相。

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *No.64, 2008年4月12日

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.64, 2008
412日 2008/1/28 創刊

The Life of Johnson 中,兩次提到 John Campbell的書Hermippus Redivivus
第二次是:"I exclaimed to her, "I am now, intellectually, Hermippus redivivus, I am quite restored by him, by transfusion of mind." "There are many (she replied) who ..."

因為書中說,該John Campbell為一傳記/政治學家(此人沒上"大英百科"),所以突然冒出翻譯為"煉金術"等作品,讓我百思不得其解。隔天,我上網查,才知道這本Hermippus Redivivus, 其實是 John Campbell之翻譯作品:

"The Hermippus was a commercial success, mentioned by the Journal des Scavans, and translated into English in 1743 by John Campbell (1708–75), a Scottish historian and political writer.
Campbell's text was re-translated into French by Monsieur de la Place in 1789, and “it is this that is known and considered by many people as the work of the German physician”; some later readers even thought that Campbell had written the Hermippus in its entirety.12 Samuel Johnson said that it was a “very entertaining account of the hermetic philosophy and as furnishing a curious history of the extravagances of the human mind”.13 ..."

13 James Boswell, The life of Dr. Johnson, 2 vols, London, J M Dent and Sons, 1933, vol. 1, p. 258.

這要感謝研究西方醫學史的ANNA MARIE ROOS, PhD:Johann Heinrich Cohausen (1665–1750), Salt Iatrochemistry, and Theories of Longevity in his Satire, Hermippus Redivivus (1742)

Hermippus Redivivus , John Campbell

這說明,大陸兩為老先生的翻譯雖然很「認真」(諸如兩錯誤之注解,因為他們搞不清楚人名是諷刺作品之偽託等),不過。經典作品的相關背景知識還要靠許多專業的研究之幫忙。

2008年4月10日 星期四

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating * No.63 quotations and citations

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.63, 2008
411 2008/1/28 創刊
看一下台灣最「傑出」大學的一場學術演講的翻譯:題目有一Citationality 翻譯成「引用」;內「引用、援引」(quotations and citations)Concrete「具像」;「文字具象」(這一段翻譯有點問題)。規範有時指 constraint;有時指 rule-based。

講題二「似曾說過」詩學:近期美國詩中的引用、具像與規範
Lecture 2: The Poetics of Déjà dit: Citationality, Concrete, and Constraint in the New Poetry
Moderator: Prof. Hsien-hao Liao (Professor, DFLL, NTU)
Time:
10:00~12:00, Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Venue: College Conference Room, 2F
College of Liberal Arts, NTU
主持人:廖咸浩教授(台大外文系教授)
時間:97年3月19日(三)10:00~12:00
地點:台大文學院2樓院會議室


Abstract
In contemporary poetry—largely in response to the internet and digital discourse, we are witnessing an intriguing use of visual or “concrete’ poems, of poems that use primarily cited text, and a rule-based poetry deriving from the French Oulipo (Ouvroir de littérature potentielle; The Workshop for Potential Literature). In this poetry, which is now replacing the earlier non-referential Language model, the emphasis is on intertextuality. The Belgian poet Jan Baetens, for example, has written a marvelous poetic sequence based on the Godard film Vivre sa vie; the American poet Craig Dworkin has written a long poem called Dure that responds to a Durer painting; and the Japanese-German poet Yoko Tawada builds her poems and lectures from quotations and citations from classical writers like Ovid. How this “translation” process works is my subject.
http://www.forex.ntu.edu.tw/Colloquium/abstract/20080319-Perloff.html


第二場講座講題為『「似曾說過」詩學:近期美國詩中的引用、具像與規
範』。在大量回應網路與數位論述的當代詩裡,我們見到視覺或「文字具象」
迷人應用,包括詩作中大量引用文本,以及源於法國「務力波」團體
(Oulipo
,即潛能文學工坊) 規範寫作。此類詩作取代了原先不外指涉的詩語
模型,轉而強調文本互文性。舉例而言,比利時詩人貝頓思 (Jan Baetens)
高達 (Godard) 的《賴活》為本寫了出色的系列詩作;美國詩人德渥金
(Craig Dworkin)
寫了一首名為「杜勒」的長詩,以回應杜勒 (Dure* 原文如此) 畫作;
以及日裔德國詩人多和田葉子 (Yoko Tawada)藉著引用、援引古典作家如奧維
(Ovid),建構她的詩與演說內容。


*アルブレヒト・デューラーAlbrecht Dürer, 1471521 - 152846
阿爾佈雷希特·杜勒德文Albrecht Dürer1471521生於德國紐倫堡152846卒於紐倫堡),德國中世紀末期、人文主義初期著名的版畫家,畫家及藝術理論家。他生於金匠家庭,其父老阿爾布萊希特·杜勒原為匈牙利宮廷金匠,後移居紐倫堡。童年時代,杜勒隨其父學習手藝,15歲後開始了其游學生活,先後遊歷於阿爾薩斯巴澤爾斯特拉斯堡。他最重要的游學經歷為兩次義大利的旅行,其間杜勒接觸並學習了文藝復興的思想及風格。


聖火 vs 火炬
「不满奥运火炬巴黎传递期间发生反华抗议…..
奧運聖火照亮舊金山WSJ 篇名亂翻譯AP原題 Olympic-Torch Protesters Given Slip In San Francisco
眾人翹首期待的北京奧運會聖火週三終於來到美國﹐與之相伴的不僅有意料之中的抗議活動﹐更有一些因政府調整火炬傳遞路線被耍得團團轉的示威者。」

2008年4月6日 星期日

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *No.62, 2008年4月7日

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.62, 2008
47日; 2008/1/28 創刊

Why would a parent want to kill their child?

04/04/2008

--The Asahi Shimbun, April 3(IHT/Asahi: April 4,2008)



這一篇讀起來心情相當沉重。 由於它有英文翻譯,讓我更了解練習翻譯者的”了解之問題”—譬如說文末說作者又拿起死者的日文詩來讀—因為英文-中文等翻譯,都無法將其”聲韻”道出。 Her belly is so bouncy that if a dwarf used it for a trampoline 處翻譯也有些問題....

练习翻译《天声人语》080403

參考:紫色字體是練習;藍色是該bbs之改正。

http://coffeejp.com/bbs/redirect.php?tid=201716&goto=lastpost

『荒城の月』の詩人、土井晩翠(どい ばんすい)が生まれた仙台市は毎年、東北を中心に小学生の詩を募る。「晩翠わかば賞」である。昨秋の第48回で佳作となった作品に「おかあさん」がある

【荒城的月】的作者,诗人土井晚翠的出生地仙台市每年都要募集以东北为中心的小学生的诗。那是【晚翠若叶赏】。去年秋天第48届的优秀作品中有一篇叫【妈妈】的作品。

==>《荒城之月》的作者,诗人土井晚翠的出生地,仙台市,每年都会举办以东北地区为中心的小学生诗歌比赛。即所谓的晚翠新叶奖。在去年秋天的第48届比赛中,有一篇获得佳作,题为《妈妈》的作品。

Every year, the city of Sendai holds a poetry contest for elementary school children in the Tohoku region and elsewhere.

The contest is named Bansui Wakaba (Young leaves) Award in honor of a native son, poet Doi Bansui (1871-1952) known for writing the lyrics to the song "Kojo no Tsuki" (Moon over a desolate castle).

A poem titled "Okasan" (Mother) was among the works that received an honorable mention at the 48th contest, held last fall.



〈おかあさんは/どこでもふわふわ/ほっぺはぷにょぷにょ/ふくらはぎはぽよぽよ/ふとももはぼよん/うではもちもち/おなかは小人さんが/トランポリ ンをしたら/とおくへとんでいくくらい/はずんでいる/おかあさんは/とってもやわらかい/ぼくがさわったら/あたたかい気もちいい/ベッドになってくれ る〉
"Mother is soft all over/ Her cheeks are supple/ Her calves are plumpish/ Her thighs are tubby/ Her arms are soft like rice cake/ Her belly is so bouncy that if a dwarf used it for a trampoline/ He would fly far away/ Mother is very soft/ When I touch her/ She is warm and makes me feel good/ She offers to serve as my bed."
〈妈妈啊/哪里都是软软的/脸蛋是嫩嫩的/腿肚子是松松的/大腿是肥肥的/手腕是粗粗的/肚子里有个小孩似的/跳一下蹦床/就像是要飞去远方/再弹回来/妈妈啊/非常的柔软/我轻轻的抚摸她/暖暖的很舒服/还会让我当床〉

きっとふくよかであろう、優しい母の笑顔が浮かんでくる。作者の西山拓海(たく・み)君はおととい、青森県八戸市(はちのへし)の家で9年の生を閉じた。電気コードで首を絞めたと認めた母親(30)が逮捕された

那肯定是一个胖嘟嘟的妈妈,脑子里浮现出一个温柔的母亲的笑脸。作者西山拓海君在前天,在青森县八户市的家里结束了9岁的生命。承认用电器线勒死儿子的母亲被逮捕了。

这样读起来,感觉不是很通顺。]
试译:这首诗的作者,西山拓海君前天死于其位于青森县八户市的家中,走完了他年仅9岁的人生。

Reading the poem, I can picture the kind, smiling face of the child's mother, who must be rather plump.

Takumi Nishiyama, who wrote the poem, was murdered Tuesday at his home in Hachinohe, Aomori Prefecture. He was 9. His mother, 30, who admitted to strangling him with an electric cord, was arrested.




何度も抱きしめてくれた「もちもちのうで」が、この朝は凶器だった。パジャマ姿で息絶えた子に、「おかあさん、なぜ?」と問う間はあるまい。詩にあふれる濃密なスキンシップとの落差に、言葉を失う

多少次抱起我的那【粗粗的的手腕】,这次却成了凶器。穿着睡衣气绝身亡的儿子,连问【妈妈,为什么?】的时间都没有。对于和诗中充满的浓浓的母子之情之间的落差,我无语。
==>成为凶器的不是手腕吧??
试译:多少次抱起孩子的「もちもちのうで」,这次却拿起了凶器。
句末的我无语确实有点。。。
试译:诗中所洋溢的浓厚的母子亲情同现实的巨大落差,让我无语凝噎/失去语言/无法言语。

Her "soft like rice cake" arms must have hugged the boy many times. But that morning, those arms turned into weapons. Apparently, the boy, who died in his pajamas, had no time to question, "Why, mom?"

I am speechless when I think about the gap between what she did and the close physical affection the boy described in the poem.


先月の修了式の日、楽しく語らい下校する親子の姿があったという。母は何を思い、わが子を手にかけたのか。最後の最後に、幼い言葉が刻む「肌の記憶」を呼び戻せなかったものか。あれこれ考えてはみても、胸が詰まるばかりだ

说是上个月的结业式的那天,有着愉快的谈笑着放学的母子的身影。母亲到底是怎么想的,亲手将自己的孩子杀死的呢。最后的最后,怎么会没能唤回刻画着年幼的话语的【肌肤的记忆】呢?左思右想,胸中憋闷,说不出话来。

According to a witness, the mother and son were seen going home together from school, chatting happily after the academic year's closing ceremony last month.

What went through the mother's mind when she strangled her son? In the end, couldn't she recall her son's "memories of physical contact" that he wrote about with so much affection? I feel tightness in my chest thinking about what went wrong.



ふわふわの感触とは相いれぬ、むごい現実にさらされる子は拓海君だけではない。早すぎる旅立ちに携える残像が、最愛の人の恐ろしい形相では悲しすぎる。おかあさん、おとうさん、ころさないで。そう念じて、いま一度、ひらがなの連なりをたどる。

和软软的触感相反,饱受凄惨的现实的孩子不只拓海君一个。让他过早去世的余象,最爱的人的恐怖形象太可怕了。妈妈,爸爸,不要杀我。祈祷,再次,让他回到这个和平假名联系着的国度。

==>首先,我认为这里的句子语法楼主没有搞清楚。
个人意见是:残像が、、、では、悲しすぎる。
、、、残像?若是最爱的人恐怖的样子,实在太让人悲哀

Takumi is not the only child to have been exposed to such a harsh reality. It is so unimaginably removed from the soft touch of parents.

If the last image children have before their young lives are taken away is that of the murderous look of those they love more than anyone else, nothing can be sadder.

Mother, father, please do not kill your child. Offering my prayers, I find myself once again going over the poem written in hiragana.

2008年4月5日 星期六

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating * No.61

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.61, 2008
45日; 2008/1/28 創刊

這本施植明著(2002)的傳記(科比意 廿世紀的建築傳奇人物柯布 Le Corbusier ),在東方之旅的三頁中,把1911年和1910年混用:

Le Corbusier and the Tragic View of Architecture。(王錦堂譯)。台北:臺隆書店。hc今日重翻此30年前舊譯(.柯必意 與建築的悲劇觀點 查理.金克斯著 王錦堂譯 Lo. k'o pi i :2) 發現:"手民誤植"之處,應該上百處以上。

Brandenburg Gate 在德國有兩處--柏林的最有名 另外在Potsdam。

現在,有一段話的翻譯,英文如下:
"Brandenburg Gate in Potsdam Square", p.77 (Journey to the East by Le Corbusier, Edited by Ivan Zaknic《東方游記》)

中文如下:"布蘭登堡波茨坦廣場 " 第64頁(《東方游記》 [法] 勒‧柯布西耶 著 管筱明 譯 上海世紀出版集團2007年1月出版)

顯然,中文翻譯錯誤。不過,原作者究竟指波茨坦的或柏林的呢?
這問題,有點難呢!
我傾向認為它指"波茨坦的布蘭登堡門"。參考:Brandenburg Gates

翻兩本美國名大學出版的翻譯:The World of Proust, as seen by Paul Nadar

The Modulor Le Corbusier (This title available from Harvard University Press)

2008年4月4日 星期五

究竟指波茨坦的或柏林的Brandenburg Gate 呢?

Brandenburg Gates

Brandenburg Gate 在德國有兩處--柏林的最有名 另外在Potsdam


現在有一句話的翻譯英文如下:

"Brandenburg Gate in Potsdam Square", p.77 (Journey to the East by Le Corbusier, Edited by Ivan Zaknic《東方游記》)
中文如下:

"布蘭登堡波茨坦廣場 " 第64頁(《東方游記》 [法] 勒•柯布西耶 著 管筱明 譯 上海世紀出版集團2007年1月出版)

顯然中文翻譯錯誤

不過 原作者究竟指波茨坦的或柏林的呢?
這問題有點難呢
我傾向認為它指"波茨坦的布蘭登堡門"

Genes 'play key happiness role'

有空再談這篇



《中英對照讀新聞》Genes ’play key happiness role’基因「扮演幸福的關鍵角色」

◎鄭寺音

Our level of happiness throughout life is strongly influenced by the genes with which we were born, say experts.

專家說,我們一生中的快樂程度,受到我們與生俱來的基因強烈影響。

An Edinburgh University study of identical and non-identical twins suggests genes may control half the personality traits keeping us happy. The other half is linked to lifestyle, career and relationships.

愛丁堡大學針對同卵與異卵雙胞胎的研究顯示,基因可能控制一半讓我們快樂的個性特徵。另一半因素則與生活方式、職業與人際關係有關。

However, another expert said despite the research in the journal Psychological Science, we can still train ourselves to be more content.

不過,另一名專家說,儘管這份刊登在心理科學期刊的研究有上述結論,我們還是可以自我訓練,讓自己感到更滿足。

Psychologists have developed several methods to assess a person’s personality type - and even their level of happiness.

心理學家已擬出數種方式,可評估一個人的個性種類,甚至他們的快樂程度。

The idea behind twin studies is that, because identical twins are genetically exactly the same, while fraternal twins are not, it is possible, by comparing the results from the two groups to calculate how strongly influenced a particular trait is by genetics.

雙胞胎研究背後的原理是,由於同卵雙胞胎基因上完全一樣,異卵雙胞胎不是,比較這兩種族群的情形,可能得以推測特定特徵如何受到基因的影響有多大。

The differences between the results from the identical and fraternal twins suggested that these traits were influenced up to 50% by genetic factors.

研究同卵與異卵雙胞胎的不同情形,顯示這些特徵高達五成受到基因因子影響。

新聞辭典

identical︰(雙胞胎)同卵的。一般常用的解釋是「完全相同的、完全相似的」。例句:The two words are identical in meaning.(這兩個字的字義完全一樣。)

trait︰特徵,特性。例句:Jim’s two most pleasing traits are generosity and energy.(吉姆最討人喜歡的特點是豪爽和充滿活力。)



Last Updated: Wednesday, 5 March 2008, 10:50 GMT
Genes 'play key happiness role'
Mouth
A question of nature, not nurture?
Our level of happiness throughout life is strongly influenced by the genes with which we were born, say experts.

An Edinburgh University study of identical and non-identical twins suggests genes may control half the personality traits keeping us happy.

The other half is linked to lifestyle, career and relationships.

However, another expert said despite the research in the journal Psychological Science, we can still train ourselves to be more content.

Together with life and liberty, the pursuit of happiness is a core human desire
Dr Alexander Weiss
University of Edinburgh

Psychologists have developed several methods to assess a person's personality type - and even their level of happiness.

The Edinburgh study, in conjunction with researchers at the Institute for Medical Research in Queensland, Australia, looked at results from 900 pairs of twins.

The idea behind twin studies is that, because identical twins are genetically exactly the same, while fraternal twins are not, it is possible, by comparing the results from the two groups to calculate how strongly influenced a particular trait is by genetics.

In this case, the researchers looked for people who tended not to worry, and who were sociable and conscientious.

All three of these separate characteristics have been linked by other research to an overall sense of happiness or well-being.

The differences between the results from the identical and fraternal twins suggested that these traits were influenced up to 50% by genetic factors.

Positive psychology

Dr Alexander Weiss, from Edinburgh's School of Philosophy, Psychology and Language Sciences, who led the research, said: "Together with life and liberty, the pursuit of happiness is a core human desire.

"Although happiness is subject to a wide range of external influences we have found there is a heritable component of happiness which can be entirely explained by genetic architecture of personality."

The science of happiness is a growing field, with demand from both the public and industry for insights into emotional wellbeing.

The Centre for Applied Positive Psychology promotes research into techniques for boosting personal contentment.

Dr Alex Linley, from the centre, said that even though other studies supported the genetic argument, it was wrong for anyone to think that nature had dealt them a fixed hand in happiness terms.

He said: "What it means is that, rather than a single point, people have a range of possible levels of happiness - and it is perfectly possible to influence this with techniques that are empirically proven to work.

"Simple things, like listing your strengths and using them in new ways every day, or keeping a journal where you write down, every night, three things that you are g



"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating * No.60

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.60, 2008
44日; 2008/1/28 創刊

BBC"当然,英国2012年也有自己的重头戏,再加上政府许诺要建三百万新房和立交铁路线,需要大量建筑工。熟练建筑工联会 Federation of Master Builders)估计今后五年,每年需要87,500新工。如果波兰人回国将重挫跟2012奥林匹克运动会有关的基础项目。联会发言人布莱恩白瑞 Bryan Berry)说:更大的问题是我们无法找到足够的劳力"
hc
翻譯評論: builder"建築業者"Master Builder What is the FMB?

Journey to the East by Le Corbusier, Edited by Ivan Zaknic《東方游記》:清真寺 the Mosques章,甚難,主要因為談建築物的細節(從設計角度此章很重要,hc假設:後來作者設計的教堂可能可以參閱)。失誤常在:缺pendentive crystalline 等;圖之文字與內文不同,譬如說,portal(━━ n. pl. (堂とした)門, 入口;)圖翻譯「路口」,內文為「巨大的門樓」等.... a door to the Kaaba兩不同譯名「聖殿克爾白」78、「黑色聖所克爾白」p.81 door 是比喻直接翻譯「門」---Sphinx, ashlar, ashler, stalactite

The prism of the Mosque of Suleyman, “like the feet of the giant Sphinx”

的棱柱,「像獅身人面(雕)像的一(雙)大腳」(hc:()表示各有此表示)

Süleymaniye Mosque mat mihrab, Kaaba

two mosques in meeting the needs of Muslim faithful. .. the faithful

2008年4月3日 星期四

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating * No.59

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.59, 2008
43日; 2008/1/28 創刊
的一些修正,請參考
CH;「建議把譯文當成作文再看一遍,把中只有英文文法所需、但中文文法不需要的字詞刪除,讓口氣更為自然。jp老師說的a是其中之一,另一個是and,例如:
「我當時15歲而且(I was...and (was))完全喜歡上美國的一切」可簡化為:
「我當時15歲,完全喜歡上美國的一切。」
「但是為了不讓別人察覺我爸爸的身分所以必須要裝出英國腔。」應為
「但是為了不讓別人對我爸爸的身分起疑,所以不得不裝出一口英國腔。」
HC

Journey to the East by Le Corbusier, Edited by Ivan Zaknic《東方游記》:兩處錯誤

這本書牽涉到西方基督教藝術的地方不少,而一些地方是作者回想起幾年前他的義大利之旅的觀畫經驗,譬如說,英文本注說:The panels he mentions are exhibited at the Pinacoteca Nazionale in Sienna. The four separate panels depict The Triumph of Death, The Triumph of Chastity, The Triumph of Love , The Triumph of Fame 可惜我在internet上找不到詳細的解釋。
http://www.ticketeria.it/siena-pinacoteca.html

在這脈絡下,我們應特別注射下面的宗教義:colors; stigmata; Francis of Assisi, St. 中文翻譯多有問題
現在,談另外一種部分解釋(翻譯):在BBC可以讀到介紹電腦虛擬世界不一定只導人入迷﹔英國倫敦大學國王學院專家研究利用虛擬地鐵旅程協助治療偏執狂」(不少人批評日新月異的電腦科技只會導人進入一個虛幻世界,脫離現實,但是,英國專家相信,虛擬世界能夠協助治療偏執狂。
BBC網之一優點是提供 LINKS:這篇的原論文篇名是:General population studies of paranoia and suicidal acts
我們注意到,中文介紹中,完全不提那些有「偏執狂」者的(後續)「自殺」相關:這是原作的主要意圖之一。

2008年4月2日 星期三

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating * No.58

"譯場(su)報告" * On Translating *
No.58, 2008
402日; 2008/1/28 創刊

bobo:「這個禮拜的翻譯

The job turned out to be packing raincoats and sending them off to people who'd applied for them by mail order. This small sideline of my father's was situated on the floor above his office in
Trafalgar Square. I never did find out how he got into plastic rainwear! It didn't take me long to discover that there's little more soul-destroying than a repetitive task that wasn't interesting in the first place. There had to be more to life than this.
結果這份工作就是包裝雨衣然後把它們寄給在網路上訂購的人們。這個我爸爸小小的副業就位於他在Trafalgar廣場的辦公室樓上。我從來都沒有發現他怎麼會和塑膠雨衣有關!不久之後我就發現這份工作比一點也不有趣的反覆工作還要枯燥乏味。人生應該還要更精采才是。

I was 15 at the time and totally in love with everything American. I also had a vivid imagination. At school I'd tell the other kids that my father worked for the CIA, something with which I helped him in my spare time ─ whereas in truth I was packing macs and sending them off, for all I knew, to a whole swathe of dirty old men across the UK. I also pretended that I was American but had to put on an English accent so that no one would suspect my family's real identity.
我當時15歲而且完全喜歡上美國的一切。我同時也有一個豐富的想像力。在學校裡我會告訴其他小孩我爸爸為美國中央情報局工作,而我有空的時候就會幫他的忙然而事實上我只是幫他包裝雨衣然後寄出去罷了,據我所知,都是一些英國那邊髒兮兮老男人。我同時也偽稱自己是個美國人但是為了不讓別人察覺我爸爸的身分所以必須要裝出英國腔。
I was paid five pounds a week for the six weeks I did the job but no amount of money would have made it seem worth doing. In fact, the experience hardened my resolve to join Joan in
Hollywood and make my way in the world ─ as a model, an actress, I don't care. In the meantime, to inject some glitz into the mundane reality of my duties, I wrote fan letters to my favourite film stars. The only star who ever replied was Tony Curtis. I will never forget the thrill of receiving his signed photo. In the boredom of the boxes of plastic macs, his smiling face ─ with his actual autograph on it ─felt like the most glamorous things that had ever happened to me. I've still got it.
我打工的六個星期裡ㄧ個星期五英鎊,但是這些錢還是讓不讓我覺得值得去做 (這句好難翻) 。事實上,這次的經驗讓我更加堅定加入姊姊Joan前進好萊塢讓我在世界之上的決心不管是當模特兒或是演員也好,我都不在乎。在這期間, 為了替我平淡又現實的工作增添一些光采,我寄了崇拜信給我喜歡的演員們。只有一個演員回信,那就是Tony Curtis。我永遠不會忘記當我收到他親筆簽名照的那個興奮感。在無聊的塑膠雨衣盒子之間,他微笑的臉和上面的親筆簽簽名,讓我覺得是發生在我身上最美好的事情。到線再我還一直保存著它。」

hc案:有些拼音已改正—macs 猜不透

感謝陳先生和鄭女士的指導;

jp:「這一篇的翻譯比上一篇好很多,恭喜:)

比較難的那一小段 but no amount of money would have made it seem worth doing,大概可以翻成「這份工作再多的錢似乎也不值得去做」。請參考。

另外,英文裡的不定冠詞 a ,在很多場合裡是不需要翻譯的,如 I also had a vivid imagination. 翻成「有一個豐富的想像力」,聽起來怪怪的,「有豐富的想像力」應該就可以了。

pr:真的是好很多很多耶!!

一個意見:

there's little more soul-destorying than a repetitive task that wasn't interesting in the first place.

我就發現這份工作比一點也不有趣的反覆工作還要枯燥乏味

1. little是否定意, 「簡直不/簡直沒有」, 和 a little (有一些些) 的意思不同

2. there is 後面一定會有個名詞/代名詞做為標的物

所以這個little 不是副詞修飾more soul-destroying, 而是作為there's的標的物名詞

a repetitve job, 兩個名詞相比較

3. repetitive task, 就是指涉作者在做的這型工作

因此此句的斷句解讀不是 there's (little more soul-destroying)

而是

there's

little (=nothing)

which is more soul-destroying

than

a repetitive task

that wasn't interesting in the first place

(like what I was doing now.)

天下再沒有事情

比一個本來就無趣, 何況又重複的工作

更能摧殘人的靈魂/性靈/生命了

還有, 也建議要多利用spell-check檢查哦

正確的拼字習慣非常重要

加油!!

補充:

重點是句子的起首是there, 不是it

你譯成 it

但即使是 it

little 也是否定, 幾乎沒有, 強調其少的意思哦

兩處錯誤:Journey to the East by Le Corbusier, Edited by Ivan Zaknic《東方游記》

of sorts,big name

*再一"極可能的"錯誤例:The Danube 一章談到作者對於現代技術的辯護(中文pp. 34-5)。我們拜internet之幫忙,可以一睹Eiffel Bridge(Eiffel Bridge Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia) bouquet, girder

Bucharest 章:Rotunda找不到資料;還提到Carmen Sylva Queen Elisabeth of Romania的夏季離宮